Dear “Robin,”
親愛的Robin,
Nothing in my career in medicine has prepared me for being a friend to someone with such a terrible disease. As a doctor I dispense advice on a daily basis, but those interactions remain strangely impersonal. With you, cancer has invaded our inner circle, and we all share your shock and despair.
雖然我從事醫(yī)療工作,但沒有任何培訓(xùn)幫助我和一個得了如此可怕的疾病的人交朋友。作為醫(yī)生我每天都給很多的忠告建議,但這些都陌生、并不個性化。對于您,癌癥侵入我們的核心圈子,我們與您一樣感到震驚和絕望。
No one can know exactly what it feels like to be facing serious cancer, unless they have been through it themselves. Your doctors will not know, the rest of your family will not know, neither will your friends. So please forgive us if we do not understand or get things wrong. It is as much a learning process for us as it is for you.
當(dāng)面對癌癥的時候,沒有人能夠感同身受,除非他真正經(jīng)歷過。醫(yī)生不能,家人不能,同樣朋友也不能。所以,如果我們不理解或者誤解了什么,請原諒。對于你和我們來說都是一個學(xué)習(xí)的過程。
But there is a vast resource out there of people fighting the same disease who do know what you are going through now and will have to battle in the future, and I suggest you get in touch with them. ACOR.org is a good starting point. You will find a wealth of knowledge here that most of your doctors will not have at their fingertips. The contributors do so voluntarily, are available all the time, know all the latest advances in treatment, and will not fob you off when you ask difficult or “silly” questions. These folk can become friends together in crisis in a way that we cannot be. Use them. I know they will welcome you with open arms.
不過,在外部,有一個龐大的人群,他們正在與同樣的疾病作戰(zhàn),他們知道你現(xiàn)在和將來與病魔的斗爭中會經(jīng)歷什么,我建議你與他們?nèi)〉寐?lián)系。ACOR.ORG網(wǎng)站是一個很好的起點。你將發(fā)現(xiàn)大量有用的知識,很多知識連你的醫(yī)生也不會馬上知道。這些都是由一群志愿者提供,他們隨時在線,了解最新的治療進展,你不會因為問及困難或者所謂的傻問題被搪塞。他們能夠彼此成為朋友,共同面對困境,而我們做不到。利用這些平臺,我知道他們會張開雙臂歡迎你。
Get to know your disease from reputable sources. Being forewarned is being forearmed. You can react to new situations earlier, giving your doctors better chance of helping you through crises.
從可靠的來源了解您的疾病。凡事預(yù)則立。有助于盡早了解新狀況并作出反應(yīng),以便醫(yī)生更好地幫您渡過危機。
You probably have already looked at the survival statistics of your cancer. I agree they are frightening. But figures alone do not tell the whole story. No one knows exactly what is going to happen with you. Don‘t let the figures get you down. Take one day at a time while you fight this disease, be grateful for each completed day, look forward to the next one. Remain positive. Your state of mind alone can make the difference in being in the percentage of people who survive.
你可能已經(jīng)看過關(guān)于所患癌癥的生存數(shù)據(jù)。我同意這些數(shù)據(jù)很嚇人。但是數(shù)據(jù)本身并不能說明全部。沒有人確切地知道在你身上會發(fā)生什么。不要讓這些數(shù)據(jù)擊垮你。當(dāng)你和病痛做斗爭的時候,不時心存感激,感恩你度過的每一天,并期待新的一天開始。保持積極樂觀。你獨有的精神狀態(tài)能夠使你的生存幾率有所不同。
If I had your diagnosis, this is what I would do.
如果我得了和你一樣的病,我將會做下面這些:
I would organize my life while I am still fit, making sure my will and business dealings are all sorted out so that I do not need to worry about difficult decisions while I am unwell.
我會在身體還不錯的時候安排好我的生活,確保我的遺囑和業(yè)務(wù)往來都妥當(dāng)處理,這樣,我不需要在自己身體不行的時候,還得擔(dān)心做出艱難的決定。
I would prepare letters or video presentations for my kids for important events in their lives – graduations, 21st birthday parties, weddings. At the same time, I would make it my goal to try to be there for the earliest celebrations. Having goals like that would help me push through the rough times. If not, I would be there in person for them with a message as real at the time as at the day it is recorded. I know my family would be fine – my friends and other people important to me would make certain of that.
我將準(zhǔn)備信件或者視頻給我的孩子,為他們預(yù)祝生活中的重要時刻,例如畢業(yè),21歲的生日,結(jié)婚典禮。與此同時,我將能夠盡量參加最早的慶典作為我的目標(biāo)。擁有這樣的目標(biāo)能讓我度過艱難的時光。如果不能,我將在那天特別出現(xiàn),通過預(yù)先錄制的信息真實、親切的出席。我知道我的家人會很好,我的朋友們和其他對我很重要的人都會盡力保證這點。
I would keep a journal, noting my fears, angers, insecurities, tribulations and triumphs. I would record my goals here, and celebrate each one as it is reached. I would go back to the earlier records regularly and see how far I have come, and how my responses to the disease have changed.
我將會堅持寫日記,記錄我的恐懼、憤怒、不安、艱難和成就。我將把我的目標(biāo)記錄下來,慶祝每一個我實現(xiàn)的目標(biāo)。我將定期回顧以前的記錄看自己已經(jīng)走了多遠,以及對于病痛的反應(yīng)發(fā)生了什么變化。
I would do the things I have always wanted to do while I am able. Skydive, bungy jump, go on a cruise. Start writing a book. Stop putting off doing things that seemed too selfish. Live my life a bit more, but involve my family so that we create memories together. I would make my marriage the best that I could with whatever time I have left.
我將在身體還可以的時候去做自己一直想做的事情,跳傘,蹦極,豪華郵輪旅行。開始寫一本書。不再推遲做那些看起來有些自私的事情。更多的活在我自己的生活里,但是要讓我的家人參與,以便我們一起創(chuàng)造更多的回憶。無論我的時間還剩下多少,我將使我的婚姻做到最好。
I would answer to the best of my ability any questions I have about life, death and spirituality, seeking help and advice where I need it.
我將盡我所能地回答任何所及關(guān)于生命、死亡、靈魂的問題,如需要主動尋求幫助和忠告。
And then I would get on with my life, living it as normally as I could.
我將繼續(xù)我的生活,盡可能保持正常。
Robin, cancer does not define you. You are not your disease. It may take its toll, but there is no shame in it, no reason to hide.
ROBIN,癌癥不能定義你,你不是你的疾病。疾病可能導(dǎo)致死亡,但患病不是可恥的,沒有理由需要隱瞞,
I do know this. Many people fighting serious disease live more complete and meaningful lives with the time they have left than people who live to old age. They leave a legacy behind that we all should learn from and try to copy. I know you will do the same.
我確信這樣。比起那些活到老善終的人們,很多人在他們與嚴(yán)重的疾病做斗爭的剩余生命中,過著更加完整和有意義的生活。他們留下了很多傳奇,值得我們大家學(xué)習(xí)和復(fù)制。我知道你可以做到。
With love,
愛你
Martin
Martin Young is an otolaryngologist and founder and CEO of ConsentCare.
馬丁,楊是一名耳鼻喉專家以及CONSNETCARE機構(gòu)的創(chuàng)始人和CEO
寫在后面的:
在美國,癌癥患者力求保持一個正常人的生活,例如他們?nèi)匀粫敢馊スぷ骰蛘邔W(xué)習(xí),很多癌癥患者長期與病魔做斗爭,而把癌癥當(dāng)做一種慢性病來對待。他們會按照醫(yī)生的建議定期去做檢查,到門診去做放療或者化療,而不是住院。很高興這樣的方式和方法已經(jīng)開始被國人所接受,因為很幸運和睦家醫(yī)院開啟了這扇門,2010年5月落成的和睦家啟望腫瘤中心,將西方的癌癥治療理念帶入中國,這里有來自北美知名的外籍專家,這里有來自國內(nèi)三甲醫(yī)院的資深團隊。我們衷心期盼每一個人健康幸福,永遠都不要來到這里,但是我們也愿意請你知道,有一支優(yōu)秀的團隊愿意幫助你與病魔戰(zhàn)斗到底。仍然會愿意去工作或者學(xué)習(xí),很多癌癥患者長期與病魔做斗爭,而把癌癥當(dāng)做一種慢性病來對待。他們會按照醫(yī)生的建議定期去做檢查,到門診去做放療或者化療,而不是住院。很高興這樣的方式和方法已經(jīng)開始被國人所接受,因為很幸運和睦家醫(yī)院開啟了這扇門,2010年5月落成的和睦家啟望腫瘤中心,將西方的癌癥治療理念帶入中國,這里有來自北美知名的外籍專家,這里有來自國內(nèi)三甲醫(yī)院的資深團隊。我們衷心期盼每一個人健康幸福,永遠都不要來到這里,但是我們也愿意請你知道,有一支優(yōu)秀的團隊愿意幫助你與病魔戰(zhàn)斗到底。
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